The Talk
by reBeCCa a.k.a. dacrayZblaze1
Summary: Brotherly interaction! Ace and Luffy have a talk. About sex. There really isnt any cursing in this, but its still pretty crude. One-Shot rated for language and content of the conversation, just to be on the safe side :


**Author's note:** Hi!! This is my first one piece fic. I love one piece. And I have decided to do a fanfiction. Muwhahaha. First of all, Luffy and Nami forever. But this isn't a Luffy and Nami fic. This is brotherly interaction (no incest!!). Ace is explaining the facts of life to Luffy…. So be prepared for crudeness. ^___^ hope you enjoy it!

My reasoning for this story is the following: Luffy cannot possibly as clueless about sex as many fanfic authors make him out to be! Luffy has an older brother, Ace. You are not going to tell me that Ace didn't have a talk with Luffy about sex. Luffy isn't slow! He's dense, but that doesn't make him mentally retarded. And he's a teenage boy. He's 17 for the love of God people. I assure you that most 17 year old boys, (straight or gay) think about sex. Hell, a good chunk of 17 year old girls think about sex. He's has hit puberty a while ago. Just because he's so focused on the One Piece and becoming Pirate King, this does not indicate that he does not think about sex or things of that nature. And I am certain for a fact that SOMEONE has to have explained sex to him. And when Mr. 2 transformed into a clone of Nami and flashed everyone (excuse the slang that will follow), Luffy was all up in there observing. Maybe he doesn't exactly carry experience with the ladies, but the boy knows about sex… that's all I'm saying!

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece. NO matter how much I pray at night, God won't give me Ace T___T. I own some volumes of the manga, and pirated copies of the anime. Yay … I don't have money! Don't sue me. I love you Eichiro Oda!! I LOVE YOU.**

**NOTE: IF YOU READ THIS BEFORE, IT'S BEEN EDITED. Almost all the Japanese has been removed, so it is more readable. I've fixed the grammar and spelling issues…. I don't know how I let myself put this crap up with so many damn typos. I want to shoot myself.**

**Final Note: Assume Luffy is like 14 or 15.**

**The "Talk"**

Ace let the sun hit his naked torso. He stretched in the yard of the house he shared with his younger brother, Luffy. Ace smiled as he remembered that girl from the village. He did not remember her name, but he certainly remembered her supple curves and her ample bosom. Her rounded bottom felt like it was made so that Ace's hand could go there. And damn, could she kiss! Ace sighed. That alley way they were in even had an old mattress in it. Ace had been sure it was fairly clean. It has been just too damn bad that her boyfriend came looking for her. The funnier part had been that he tried to pick a fight with Ace! Stupid bastard. Just because Ace was doing a better job than he ever did… he should have been thanking Ace for giving his girlfriend back to him satisfied. Ace definitely handed him his behind in a platter, as the saying goes.

The fight had expended his muscles. He had enjoyed it while it lasted. It was almost as satisfying as sex. Ace would have much rather had sex than fight that stupid guy. He had a really hard head, and now Ace's fists were hurting. He closed his fists gingerly, testing to see if his fingers were still hurt. They were ok now; it was several hours later. Ace probably wasn't going to see that girl again. It was too damn bad, because that girl was hot. And he wanted to get laid. Ace turned around and sighed. He rested his head on his arms.

Suddenly, Ace saw the sandaled feet of his younger brother Luffy running across the yard.

"OI! Luffy!" Ace called over to his brother, getting up as he said this. "What are you doing?"

Luffy turned around and looked at his brother. "YO! Ace! What's up? I'm about to go down to the village and grab something to eat from the bar, wanna join me?"

Ace got up off of the ground completely and shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Ace and Luffy walked towards the village. A slight breeze picked up and began to tug at the straw hat Luffy always wore. It was the straw hat that Shanks had given him so many years ago. Luffy put his hand on his head to prevent the wind from taking his precious hat. It was moments like this that Ace wondered about his little brother. He had never seen Luffy express interest in any females. Then again, it wasn't like Luffy was expressing interest in males. Maybe his brother was asexual… Ace laughed and shook his head at the thought. That wasn't right! He knew for a fact that the males in his family really weren't asexual. It was more like they were too sexual. Luffy certainly had all the other aspects: narcolepsy, a monstrous appetite, being rather simple minded (even Ace did not escape this trait at times), and being determined no matter what. So it was logical, Ace thought that his brother want to have sex as much as the rest of the family.

Ace was once again going over the possibility of Luffy being gay. Luffy and he entered the village bar where they usually ate. "Makino-neechan!" Luffy called out by way of greeting.

"Ara! Luffy-kun, Ace-kun Hello!" She called back. Luffy and Ace made their way to the bar and sat down.

"Food! Food!" Luffy cried out happily. Makino smiled at him and handed both Luffy and Ace plates heaped with meat, rice, red beans, and salad to start out with. Luffy and Ace barely muttered "I humbly accept!" before shoveling food into their more than willing mouths. A girl at the edge of the bar, with strawberry-blonde hair, and a substantial amount of boobage was observing Luffy and Ace eat. Makino motioned for her to come over there.

"Cherri-chan!" she called, "Bring these two juice or something!"

The girl timidly filled two tall glasses with juice and set them down besides the almost empty plates from which Luffy and Ace ate. Luffy looked up and cried, "Makino-neechan! Another helping!" He saw the cup next to the empty plate and looked at the girl who placed it there. He gave her a huge grin and said, "Thanks, Nee-chan." The girl's face turned bright red and she bowed slightly towards Luffy and whispered, "You're Welcome."

Ace paused briefly from his food to observe this interaction. Luffy seemed unaware that the girl was trying hard to get his attention. Luffy, his brother decided, was just very dense. He seemed to appreciate the girl's attention when she brought him a second helping of food. She kept batting her eyelashes and laughing when Luffy looked at her. All Luffy did was grin his idiot grin. It appeared that the girl was extremely taken with his younger brother. Ace wanted to tell her that at the moment it was a very lost cause.

About 10 plates of food and an hour later, Ace and Luffy walked out of the bar. Makino and the girl named Cherri were waving merrily at the pair of them. Luffy waved back and Ace bowed his thanks.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

On the way back home, Ace decided to ask Luffy about his sexuality straight off. "Luffy, I have a question for you."

"What, Ace?" replied Luffy. He swung his arms in a wide arc as he walked besides his brother.

Ace wondered how he should phrase his question. "Hmm, do you like boys or girls better, Luffy?"

Luffy replied without hesitation, "I like meat!"

Ace punched his brother hard on the head. Luffy fell to the ground crying, "That hurt, Ace!" to which Ace screamed "Good! You stupid bastard! That isn't what I was asking you!"

Luffy got up rubbing his skull. "What are you asking then?"

A vein in Ace's forehead was throbbing. "What I am asking, is would you rather kiss a boy, or kiss a girl?"

Luffy laughed and said, "I dunno, maybe a girl."

Ace sighed. "You don't understand a damn thing you bastard," and punched Luffy lightly on the shoulder.

Luffy laughed again and said, "Exactly! I don't understand a damn thing."

Ace said, "I guess you and I have to have the 'talk' don't we?"

Luffy replied, "But aren't we talking now?"

Ace punched Luffy again and yelled, "Not this kind of talk you imbecile! We are gonna talk about sex!"

"Sounds interesting," said Luffy, sounding half-interested.

By this point, the brothers had already reached their house. Ace opened the door and Luffy bumbled into the house. "Sit at the table," Ace ordered, and Luffy sat at the table.

Ace started off by asking Luffy, "Do you know anything about sex?"

"Isn't that were babies come from?" Luffy asked.

"Well…" Ace replied. "There's a start. Sex can mean two things. It can mean male or female or it can mean to make babies. So, being the good older brother that I am, I'm going to explain what sex is, and how you should do it."

"But Ace!" Luffy exclaimed, "I don't wanna make babies!"

Ace laughed. "Yeah you will. You'll want to have lots and lots of sex. What you won't want is lots and lots of kids. There's ways around that my dear little brother. So be still and listen. But wait a sec, so I can get a visual aid."

Luffy waited for about five minutes, and his brother returned with a dirty magazine. "This," Ace laid it fondly on the table, "will assist me in teaching you about sex, little brother."

Ace flipped to a page and showed it to Luffy. It showed a girl and a guy completely in the nude. The girl's legs were spread so that one was on either side of the guy's waist. The girl leaned over a little bit. The erect nipple of her ample bosom was almost touching the guy's grinning mouth.

"Is that sex?" Luffy asked, looking very intently at the woman's larger than life breasts. He turned to another page and the girl on the previous page, along with another girl, whose breasts were much smaller by comparison were doing things to each other. Luffy grinned.

"Ace, is this sex too?" Luffy asked. ""Cause I think I like this page better."

Ace smiled at his brother, "I'm sure you do, Luffy. I am sure you do."

"You know Ace," Luffy continued. "Once I had a dream like that! And the girl had bright orangy-reddish hair too! It was a really good dream. Only when I woke up, there was all this white stuff on my bed."

"Well Luffy," Ace began. "The way it works is that anyone can have sex. A girl and a guy, a guy and a guy, a girl and a girl. But I'll first tell you the way a guy and a girl can do it. and I think I have to tell you how a guy and a guy can do it so you know that that's not what you're supposed to do."

"Why?" asked Luffy.

"Because. You aren't interested in sticking your penis in another guy's butthole are you?" Luffy cringed at Ace's description. "I didn't think so. So anyway. So basically this is how it works. You stick your penis and it goes in the vagina."

"Huh?"

Ace flipped the page. In the next two pages, the same girl that was on first spread, had a spread by herself. Her legs were wide open, and one finger was in her mouth and the other was on the inside of her thighs. Ace pointed to between her legs.

"You see that right? It looks kind of like a mouth, right?" Ace said and Luffy nodded. "Well there's a hole there and that's where your penis is gonna go."

"Uh huh," Luffy nodded, not understanding anything.

"And you see this?" Ace pointed to a specific spot on the vagina. "That is called a clitoris, or the clit for short. It's kind of like a button, see? If you press it, it will make a girl's body feel really happy. Don't ever push it too hard. You could also touch it light-like."

"What else could I do?" asked Luffy.

"Uh… You could lick it with your tongue."

"Like ice cream?" asked Luffy.

"No…" said Ace. "I'll tell you what a girl told me. She said that I should get a mango, cut it in half and practice with that."

"Did it work?"

"Yup!" Ace laughed. "She didn't complain afterwards. And you see this?" Ace made the motion for "come here" with his fingers.

"Yeah, but you're just telling me 'come here,' with your hands." Replied Luffy, confused.

"Yeah, but if you take your hands and you take your index finger and your middle finger, and you make the motion for 'come here,' only in the opposite direction and inside of her, the girl will come in your hand!"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, that means she'll orgasm and THAT means her body will feel so, so good that it will reach the highest point of pleasure and then feel really relaxed."

"Ace, is it normal to have dreams where I wrap my penis around a girl's entire body?" asked Luffy.

Ace gave Luffy a weird look. "What other kinds of dreams do you have?"

Luffy thought about it for a moment. "Well I had this dream where I was on my own ship, and I had only females for crew mates and they were all naked and feeding me grapes. Ha, ha. And there was the one that I was sleeping in a hammock and I woke up with this chick on top of me, and she was naked. It was a good dream. And I can't remember the rest of them."

"Those dreams are called 'wet dreams,'" Ace explained.

"Wet?" Luffy looked confused.

"It means you ejaculate," he told his brother. Luffy looked more confused. "It means a white liquid comes out of your penis, you twit! It's called semen."

"Ohhhh, so that's what that was!"

"Oh," Ace continued. "There's another word you need to know, Masturbation. It's when you touch yourself to make yourself feel good."

"Oh that!" Luffy laughed. He waved his hands in front of his face. "I do that all the time!"

Ace's eyes widened. He did not ask Luffy to elaborate either. "WELL, then the only thing that leaves for me to explain is kissing. Hmm. It's when—"

"OH! I already know how to do that!" Luffy exclaimed. "Last year, this girl from the village showed me what it was."

"Why?" It was Ace's turn to ask.

"I dunno," Luffy shrugged. "I don't think about these things! I think she said it was for a dare or something or other."

"Luffy, it's clear that you don't think about a lot of things…" Ace replied, making to leave the table with his magazine.

"Ace," Luffy started.

"Do you mind leaving me that magazine for a while…?"

Ace gave his little brother a startled look, and left the magazine on the table and walked out of the room. He thought to himself, 'I've awoken a monster…'

-_-

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Author's notes**: so it wasn't that bad! It took me like 2 days to write this I think. I dunno. I am not keeping track. I have a one-shot idea for a LuNA fic. Mwuahaha. I'll write it out later after I've caught up some more with one piece. Let us see. I have to credit various ideas to other places. The one where Luffy said he had a dream where he wrapped his penis around a girl, is from a hentai doujin I saw of Luffy and Nami. The tidbit where ace told Luffy to cut a mango in half and practice is stolen from the movie "Dirty Love." My friends are always quoting it. The "come here" tidbit is taken from my friend who is always quoting random comedians. I think in this case it was Margaret Cho. She's always also quoting Kat Williams, but I didn't use anything from him here. He's just funny. I hope you liked it! it was mostly dialogue. But I love Ace. He's beautiful.

And as I said before, I don't think Luffy is clueless about sex, even if he hasn't had any!! He can be a virgin and be 17. It's possible people.

Now, since you have read this, leave me a review and show me the love damn it.


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